Tag: Communication

I recently wrote about the Coordinated Management of Meaning in the context of D&D and wanted to look into this further. The image of Dungeons & Dragons portrays slaying dragons, exploring dungeons, and collecting treasure. And of course, rolling dice! While those things certainly happen, anyone who has ever played a long-running campaign knows that the real game takes place in the interactions between players. Every decision, every plan, every argument, and every heroic speech shapes what happens next. This idea sits at the heart of the Serpentine Model from the Coordinated Management of Meaning (CMM) framework.

The model suggests that communication is not a series of isolated messages. Instead, conversations form a winding path where each person’s response influences the next person’s action. Like a serpent slithering across the ground, communication twists and turns as people react to one another.

As you might imagine, D&D provides the perfect environment for observing this process in action.

Every Conversation Creates the Adventure

Imagine the party discovers a suspicious merchant selling magical artefacts. Much to the rest of the party’s consternation the fighter immediately accuses him of being a fraud. As a result the merchant becomes defensive. The rogue interprets the defensiveness as guilt and starts sneaking around the merchant’s wagon. He’s not as stealthy as she thought and the merchant’s guards notice. Weapons are drawn. Suddenly, the party is fighting for their lives.

At first glance, it might appear that the combat encounter happened because the merchant was suspicious. The Serpentine Model tells a different story. The encounter emerged from a chain of actions and reactions. Each participant responded to what came before, creating a conversational pathway that led to conflict.

The same encounter could have unfolded very differently.

Upon meeting the merchant our fighter asks polite questions. The merchant, initially cautious of the party relaxes. Naturally curious the Rogue starts looking though his wares. A bit more conversational digging and the party uncovers an ring of invisibility that will help them with the heist they are planning. Some friendly haggling and the Party are now well equipped for the next stage of their adventure.

The situation changed because the communication pattern changed.

This type of back and forth is highlighted really well in an in game negotiation that went wrong in my Gutter Rats campaign.

Using the Serpentine Model to Look Beyond Individual Decisions

One of the most useful aspects of the Serpentine Model is that it encourages us to look beyond individual actions and examine the sequence of interactions. This can be especially valuable when a gaming group experiences tension between the players rather than in the game itself.

Perhaps one player feels that another is dominating every discussion. While the dominant player may feel that nobody else contributes ideas. A couple of the quieter players feel there is no room to speak.

Viewed individually, everyone can justify their behaviour. However, looking through the Serpentine Model, a pattern emerges. Each person’s actions are influencing everyone else’s responses. Instead of asking, “Who is causing the problem?” the group can ask, “What conversational pattern are we creating together?”

By removing the avenue for accusations and defensive behaviour the question can lead to far more productive solutions.

The Dungeon Master as Pattern Weaver

Dungeon Masters frequently focus on world-building, story writing and encounter design. Actually some of the most important work a DM does involves managing communication patterns during play.

A skilled DM notices when conversations are spiralling toward frustration. Perhaps two players keep talking over each other. Or another player repeatedly has their ideas dismissed. Maybe the group continually defaults to the same leader even when others have useful contributions.

By recognising these patterns, the DM can introduce small interventions that change the flow of interaction. Ask a quieter player what their character thinks. Summarise competing viewpoints before a decision is made. Orchestrate situations where different characters have opportunities to lead.

Applying small changes in communication can produce dramatic changes in group dynamics.

Learning Leadership Through Play

As you’d expect, the Serpentine Model has applications far beyond the gaming table. In workplaces, leaders often focus on individual performance, decisions, and behaviours. Yet many organisational challenges emerge from interaction patterns rather than individual failings.

For example, a manager becomes more directive because staff seem disengaged. However, the staff become less engaged because the manager is more directive. The cycle reinforces itself.

D&D allows players to experience similar patterns in a safe environment. Players can see how trust develops, how misunderstandings escalate, and how collaborative problem-solving emerges through communication. Because the consequences are fictional, participants can experiment with different approaches and observe the results without real-world risk.

Changing the Story

One of the most powerful lessons of the Serpentine Model is that every conversational turn creates new possibilities. No matter how entrenched a pattern appears, the next response can alter the direction of the interaction.

A suspicious NPC can become an ally. That party disagreement can become a moment of understanding. Our reckless plan can become a collaborative strategy. Every response changes the path. We can help direct the conversation by being purposeful in the way respond. Spot the patterns and if necessary take steps to redirect them.

This is one reason Dungeons & Dragons remains such a powerful tool for learning teamwork and leadership. The game constantly reminds us that stories are not created by individuals acting alone. They emerge through countless interactions between people working together.

The adventure may begin with a dungeon map and a handful of dice, but the real journey follows a winding serpent of communication, twisting and turning through every conversation, every decision, and every shared moment at the table. How you respond can have very real impact.

I’ve been invited to run some short D&D style sessions for the CMM conference in Birmingham (UK) next year. While chatting to Abbie VanMeter on the Stories Lived Stories Told podcast it became apparent that playing and running D&D ties in very closely to CMM. So for this article I want to look at the CMM communication theory and see how it relates to playing tabletop roleplaying games.

What is CMM

Before chatting to Abbey I had never heard of CMM before. So after a few pointers from Abbie, I’ve started trying to understand what CMM is all about. Coordinated Management of Meaning (CMM) was developed by communication scholars W. Barnett Pearce and Vernon Cronen back in the 1970s. CMM suggests that people don’t simply exchange information through conversation. Instead, they actively create and manage shared meaning together. Communication is less about transmitting facts and more about building a common understanding of the world through interaction.

That sounds very similar to the way we communicate when playing Dungeons & Dragons.

Please keep in mind that while I have my 10,000 hours playing D&D, I am very much a layman when it comes to the CMM paradigm. As such, I encourage you to do your own research into this fascinating topic.

Building a Shared Reality

Every game of D&D begins with a simple premise: a group of people agree to imagine the same world. Which of course can be a problem. As the Dungeon Master describes a tavern one player imagines a bustling medieval inn. Another pictures a smoky pirate den. A third envisions something inspired by their favourite fantasy novel. None of these interpretations are exactly the same. Yet through conversation, questions, and storytelling, the group gradually coordinates their understanding of the setting.

According to CMM, communication creates social realities. We don’t just talk about the world, we help construct it together. A D&D adventure is perhaps the most literal example of this process. The game world only exists because the all the players at the table continuously create it through their actions, questions and collaboration.

More Than Just Words

CMM argues that meaning exists at multiple levels. A statement gains significance not only from the words themselves but also from the relationship between speakers, the context of the conversation, and the broader culture surrounding it.

This is of course true when playing D&D. Consider a player saying:

“I draw my sword.”

The meaning depends entirely on context. In one scene, it’s a heroic act of defence. In another, it’s a reckless escalation that could start a brawl or even a war. Around some tables it might even be a running in-joke.

The same action carries different meanings because players interpret it through the context of the story, their relationships with one another, and the norms of the campaign. The best players instinctively understand this. They don’t simply think about what their character is doing. They think about what that action means to the group and the story. context is everything.

Coordination Is More Important Than Agreement

One of the most counterintuitive ideas in CMM is that successful communication doesn’t require people to completely agree. Instead, they need to coordinate their actions in a way that creates a shared pattern of understanding. Odd, but what does this look like in D&D.

The lawful do-good paladin may disagree with the chaotic out for herself rogue. The idealistic god fearing cleric may clash with the more cynical warlock. Yet the party still functions because the players coordinate their actions toward a common goal.

In fact, some of the most memorable moments in campaigns emerge from disagreement. In my friends Duskfall campaign, I played an “Old One” Worshipping Warlock who seemed at odds with the rest of the party. At the beginning I was a little worried that the character might cause a rift in the party. If he did I was fine to retire him. However, I needn’t have worried. Despite seemingly being at odds with the other characters, they all found common ground. In fact the Old One cult grew in stature becoming a force in the city and a convenient way to dispose of inconvenient bodies… As players we still joke about the cult of Ygeggos and it has even crossed campaigns and made appearances in other adventures.

The key is that players understand the difference between character conflict and player conflict. They coordinate the story even while their characters argue within it.

This is a valuable lesson for leadership and teamwork. Effective teams do not eliminate differences. Instead they learn how to work productively with them.

Stories Create Meaning

One of the things I really like about CMM is that it places significant importance on the stories people tell to make sense of their experiences. These stories help create coherence and allow individuals to understand who they are and how they fit into the world.

Of course, D&D is built entirely on emergent stories. Characters develop identities through their adventures. Parties create shared histories. Campaigns generate legends that players remember for years. Ask any long-term D&D player about their favourite campaign and they’ll never describe game mechanics.

Instead they tell stories. They tell you about the halfling midwife who died fighting an ancient green dragon. The orc shaman who freed a Kraken from a Glacier or even the party who used their gold to build a theatre to put on plays about their adventures. Who could forget the hanging tree, where the well meaning fighter released the demons on the world. All these really happened in my campaigns.

These stories help players make sense of the experience and become part of the group’s collective identity.

The Mystery Beyond the Rules

An aspect of CMM that particularly resonates with roleplaying games is the concept of “mystery”. No matter how much we communicate or coordinate, there is always something beyond our understanding. No story is ever completely predictable or fully explained.

Any Dungeon Master knows this feeling. You spend hours preparing encounters, maps, villains, and plot twists. Then the players decide to befriend the monster, ignore the plot hook, and start a trading company. Consequently, the campaign becomes something nobody anticipated. Of course, far from being a problem, this uncertainty is often where the magic happens.

The most memorable moments in D&D are rarely the ones anyone planned. They emerge from the unpredictable interactions between players, characters, dice, and imagination.

CMM Lessons for Leaders

Looking at D&D through this lens it seems obvious that D&D is an excellent tool for developing communication skills. Particularly as it forces participants to practice the very things CMM describes.

When running or playing these games players must:

• Create shared understanding.
• Interpret meaning in different contexts.
• Coordinate actions despite differing perspectives.
• Build relationships through conversation.
• Develop stories that create group identity.
• Adapt to uncertainty and ambiguity.

Of course, these are not just gaming skills. They are leadership skills.

Every workplace team is engaged in its own process of coordinated meaning-making. People all bring different experiences, assumptions, values, and perspectives. Success very much depends on a leaders ability to create a shared understanding of goals, challenges, and opportunities.

Luckily for us the D&D table simply makes that process visible. Behind every adventure, regardless of how fantastical, is a group of people engaged in the ongoing task of creating meaning together. And that may be one of the most valuable things the game teaches.

The very act of playing D&D is actually more than having fun with friends. It enhances the way we communicate. We’re practicing Coordinated Management of Meaning without even realising it. Which in turn makes us better at navigating web of relationships and communication that is the workplace, ultimately making us better leaders.

Now that I’ve scratched the surface of CMM, I cant wait to dig deeper and learn more.

Difficult conversations are an inevitable part of life. Unfortunately both Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) and the business world are not exempt from this. In this post, we explore how the Dungeon Master (DM) and players engage in and navigate challenging discussions within the game. Before looking at how these experiences can serve as valuable practice for effective business leadership.

Effective Communication: Setting the Stage for Productive Dialogue

In D&D, the DM and players rely on effective communication to convey ideas, share information, and coordinate actions. The game hinges on the participants talking to one another. The DM must describe the world and situation that the players face. In turn the players need to be clear about how their characters are interacting. If the communication breaks down, the game breaks down.

Similarly, in the business world, leaders must master the art of communication to convey their vision, provide feedback, and resolve conflicts. How else do their teams know what they are trying to achieve. Without easy to understand feedback there is no indication of the quality of their work. Business is built on communication. Many failures could have been avoided if staff communicated better.

By practicing communication skills within the context of D&D, leaders can develop clarity, empathy, and articulation, enabling them to navigate difficult conversations more effectively in the professional realm.

Emotional Intelligence: Understanding and Managing Emotions

Through the nature of the game, D&D often elicits strong emotions, including excitement, frustration, or disappointment. Beating a difficult foe, or losing a beloved character can create strong highs and lows. Both the DM and players must be attuned to their emotions and those of others to create a positive and inclusive environment. Treating others emotions with respect becomes a core part of what makes a fun D&D group.

Emotional intelligence is also vital in business leadership. It helps leaders navigate sensitive topics, recognize and manage emotions, and foster a supportive workplace culture. Understanding the emotional state of your team allows leaders to communicate with tact. It also helps leaders to look after their staffs well being.

Working on difficult conversations in Dungeons and Dragons provides a platform to develop emotional intelligence, facilitating its application in real-world leadership scenarios.

Conflict Resolution: Finding Common Ground

The freeform nature of D&D adventures can introduce conflicts and disagreements among players. Whether deciding a course of action or style of play emotions can get heated. Resolving these conflicts requires effective conflict resolution strategies, such as active listening, seeking understanding, and finding common ground. This resolution falls to all players at the table not just the DM. Sometimes taking a break from the game and having a frank discussion is needed. One thing for certain is that shying away from the difficult conversations usually results in unhappy participants and ultimately the game folding.

Hankerin Ferinale from Rune Hammer Games suggests using a Tribunal type set up where the group meet outside the usual game session to discuss issues openly together. Determine what is working and what is not and then, if needed make change.

Similarly, leaders in the business world often encounter conflicts that demand resolution. Whether in your team, with other teams or clients contentious issues will arise. Having the courage to have a difficult conversation early and actively trying to understand each sides perspective will more often than not solve the problem. At the very least it starts the journey towards resolution.

By engaging in difficult conversations in D&D, leaders can practice conflict resolution techniques, hone their negotiation skills, and foster an environment of collaboration and understanding within their teams.

Active Listening: Honoring Different Perspectives

Running a D&D sessions involves active listening, as players contribute ideas, voice concerns, and share their experiences. The DM must attentively listen to player input to shape the narrative. Players must pay attention to the DM and the other players. This keeps everyone actively involved in growing the game together.

When players don’t practice active listening the game immersion and excitement diminishes. One of the biggest contributors to this is the mobile phone. There is nothing worse than when a player sits at the table on their phone. There is no engagement with the game or the other players and when it is their turn to interact they have no idea what is going on. Committing to active listening during a game session makes the game better for everyone.

Active listening is equally crucial in business leadership, where leaders must hear diverse perspectives, understand the needs of their team members, and encourage open dialogue. If you are talking to a team member pay real attention to what they are saying. Asking relevant questions lets you gain deeper understanding but also shows the team member that you are listening to them and engaged. Practicing active listening in the workplace will grow your reputation as a leader who cares.

Using D&D sessions to practice active listening, leaders strengthen their ability to listen empathetically, cultivate trust, and foster a culture of inclusivity and psychological safety.

Final Thoughts on Difficult Conversations in Dungeons and Dragons

Difficult conversations in Dungeons and Dragons offer valuable practice for business leaders in navigating challenging discussions, fostering effective communication, and promoting a positive team dynamic. By honing communication skills, developing emotional intelligence, practicing conflict resolution, and fostering actively listening within the game, leaders can gain valuable experience and refine their approach to difficult conversations in the business world. By applying the lessons learned from D&D, leaders can foster productive dialogue, build strong relationships, and lead their teams with empathy, clarity, and authenticity.