Tag: Experience

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Failed Negotiation: A Real example from D&D

Today I want to discuss a failed negotiation that occurred in my Thursday night Dungeons and Dragons group. While the players were roleplaying their characters to the hilt, making some questionable decisions, I thought that there were some real learnings to be gleaned in the art of negotiation.

As Dungeon Master I had set up what I thought was a straight forward in-game negotiation. One that would take up half an hour at best. What transpired was a crazy rollercoaster of demands, ultimatums, alley chases and moral dilemmas. Three hours later and the Party was no closer to achieving their goal.

So what went down and what lessons can we learn?

Keep in mind that this was part of an ongoing campaign with well established characters. The players were heavily leaning into these characters, definitely not looking for the optimal outcome. Even so I think this example shows how you can gain real world leadership learnings through the medium of role playing games.

What Went Down

So as not to bore you I’m going to give you the basic framework of what went down. Ultimately, the player characters (PC) are the leaders of a now influential street gang. They needed the location of a key. The only person with this knowledge was the local Fence “Old Mog”. Go to Mog, find out what she wants, negotiate, get the location, move on. Simple. Or not! Here’s what happened:

  • Start discussions with Mog, fairly confrontational straight out of the gate, thinly veiled threats, posturing etc
  • Mog is open about what she wants (safety, by becoming part of the PCs street gang)
  • Party react aggressively and dive straight into an ultimatum
  • Mog demands a counter offer, as none is forthcoming
  • Counter offer does not take into account what Mog wants
  • Becomes clear that Mog is also negotiating with their arch enemies (shock, disbelief, anger)
  • Tempers flare, more ultimatums and threats are thrown around
  • Negotiations break down and Mog cuts a deal with the enemy
  • PC’s walk away empty handed.

Interestingly it seems like the PC’s treated the negotiation as a competition that ended in frustration and failure. So what could they have done differently? What can we, as learning leaders, gain from this experience.

BATNA

Firstly, what is BATNA? BATNA is an acronym that stands for Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. This is what the best outcome would be if no agreement between the two parties can be reached. When entering a negotiation it is important to state what this is amongst your team. Understanding your BATNA gives you the ramifications of not reaching a deal.

Negotiating with a car salesman for example, the BATNA might be having to take public transport over the next week.

In the above D&D example the group didn’t even consider a BATNA to begin with. However, the consequences of not reaching an agreement was they wouldn’t get the location of the key they needed. Pretty straight forward. But not considered.

This meant that there was no strategy or no direction going in.

Understand What the Other Side Wants

The first part of any negotiation should be finding out what the other side of the negotiation wants. Often this may not be obvious at the very beginning. At this point all assumptions should be checked. As they may not be accurate. Once this understanding has been found it’s much easier to start crafting a mutually beneficial solution.

In the D&D negotiation example above, the Party did ask what Mog wanted. They got a response. She wanted to join their organization and feel safe in the area of her home. Unfortunately, this need from Mog was overshadowed by the competitive nature brought out by the act of negotiating. Which neatly leads to my next point.

Becoming overly competitive can lead to a failed negotiation

It’s Not a Competition

A negotiation is not a point scoring contest. It is not about having a winner or a loser. It’s about getting what you need and not agreeing to an outcome worse than your identified BATNA.

The problem can be that the act of negotiating brings out competitiveness in people. I remember an international Chief Sales Officer arguing for hours that in every negotiation there had to be a winner and a loser. He obviously didn’t think very highly of his customers, which is probably why he got fired a few months later. Ego takes over and the actual value of the outcome gets lost.

Back to the game. The Party didn’t define a BATNA, ignored what Mog wanted and went straight into competitive behavior. This included bullying, threats and ultimatums. Who wants to make a deal with people like that? Of course, Mog considered her BATNA and joined the opposition where she would be safe.

The result. A massive fail for our heroes.

Don’t let your ego lead to a failed negotiation. Stay calm and focused. Don’t lose your cool.

Final Thoughts on the Failed Negotiation

Despite the fact that this gaming session wasn’t being run as a Learning-RPG there are definitely some real world learnings to be taken from it.

If I was to run this type of scenario with leadership development in mind I would be tempted to have Mog played by a different person, not by me the DM. I’d give Mog a simple BATNA and guidance on motivations. I could then facilitate rather than be the focus of the players attention.

I would also give a clearer briefing to the players, defining set goals for their team. Lastly, a debrief after the scenario would put everyone’s actions into perspective.

Running the team through multiple negotiation scenarios with increasing levels of hostility and emotion from the opposition would provide an excellent experiential learning experience.

Lots of food for thought. I feel that this example really highlights the potential of using rpgs for experiential leadership learning.

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Three Leadership Lessons From The Game: Mutiny and Collaboration

Recently, I had the opportunity to play a thrilling roleplaying game session of “Those Dark Places” with a group of friends. This game is all about horror and adventure in deep space, following the themes laid out form my favorite film Alien. Little did we know that amidst the excitement and tension, we would stumble upon valuable insights into leadership styles and dynamics. As the game unfolded, our experiences shed light on the importance of collaboration, building leadership capital, and the consequences of failing to adapt in times of crisis. In this post, I will discuss three key leadership lessons from the game that emerged in our space faring journey.

Of course, I’m lucky to play with a group who enjoy roleplaying their characters to the hilt. This often means that the optimal solution is not always played out, making for a much more interesting game. But the leadership lessons still stand, highlighting the experiential learning opportunities that roleplaying games can provide leaders.

In space no one can hear you scream, or mutiny as the case might be…. (Alien 1979 – huge inspiration for this game).

Lesson 1: Collaboration Over Dictation

At the beginning of our virtual space expedition, one of our friends assumed the role of the captain—a position of authority entrusted with leading the crew of space workers on a mission to aid an on-planet mine. However, the captain’s leadership style was initially authoritarian and highly directive. He issued orders without seeking input or fostering collaboration within the crew. In the absence of any serious threats, the crew complied silently, and the mission progressed smoothly. In fact the team members were helping each other with tasks while the captain was “overseeing” from a place of safety. This lack of collaboration between the leadership and the team began to create a divide. Which, as it turns out, was going to limit the effectiveness of the leader moving forward.

Lesson 2: Building Leadership Capital

However, when faced with unexpected adversity in the form of an horrific android uprising, the true test of leadership began. Tension was mounting and the pressure rising. As the crew confronted the urgent task of returning to the spaceship, evading homicidal androids along the way, the captain’s lack of collaboration and failure to build leadership capital became apparent. At no point during the adventure up to this point had the captain tried to gain the trust of the team. Directing them to do the difficult and dangerous jobs while remaining safe, refusing to collaborate and acting in a dictatorial style were to behis undoing. The crew had not developed trust or respect for the captain’s leadership style, making it difficult for them to rally behind their directives in this critical situation. This came to a head when the captain started making decisions that were putting the crew in harms way.

The pressure in Those Dark Places creates a good test of leadership principles

Lesson 3: Adaptability and Resilience in Crisis

Under the mounting pressure, the crew’s survival instincts kicked in, and they collectively realized the need for collaboration and shared decision-making. The android uprising had spread throughout the mine and the adventure theme had turned to one of survival. The captain however, was looking to follow company orders, effectively putting the crew at risk. Recognizing that their lives were at stake, they overruled the captain’s orders and effectively mutinied. In this desperate situation, the crew’s ability to adapt and work as a cohesive unit became paramount. By embracing a collaborative approach and pooling their collective knowledge and skills, they navigated through the dangers, ultimately surviving the ordeal. As their ship left the turmoil of the planet below the captain had effectively lost command.

Final thoughts

Our experience playing “Those Dark Places” brought to light crucial leadership lessons that transcend the boundaries of a mere game. The importance of collaboration, building leadership capital, and adaptability during times of crisis emerged as central themes. Effective leaders understand the significance of collaboration, seek input from team members, and foster an environment where diverse perspectives are valued. Furthermore, they invest time and effort in building trust, respect, and credibility among their team. Finally, leaders must possess the ability to adapt and remain resilient in challenging situations, recognizing when it is necessary to shift their approach and empower their team members to make crucial decisions.

Whether in the context of a tabletop roleplaying game or the real world, these leadership lessons have the potential to transform the dynamics within teams and drive them towards success. By embracing these insights, leaders can build cohesive teams that thrive in both favorable and adverse circumstances, navigating the darkest of places with resilience and shared purpose.