Today I want to discuss a failed negotiation that occurred in my Thursday night Dungeons and Dragons group. While the players were roleplaying their characters to the hilt, making some questionable decisions, I thought that there were some real learnings to be gleaned in the art of negotiation.
As Dungeon Master I had set up what I thought was a straight forward in-game negotiation. One that would take up half an hour at best. What transpired was a crazy rollercoaster of demands, ultimatums, alley chases and moral dilemmas. Three hours later and the Party was no closer to achieving their goal.
So what went down and what lessons can we learn?
Keep in mind that this was part of an ongoing campaign with well established characters. The players were heavily leaning into these characters, definitely not looking for the optimal outcome. Even so I think this example shows how you can gain real world leadership learnings through the medium of role playing games.
What Went Down
So as not to bore you I’m going to give you the basic framework of what went down. Ultimately, the player characters (PC) are the leaders of a now influential street gang. They needed the location of a key. The only person with this knowledge was the local Fence “Old Mog”. Go to Mog, find out what she wants, negotiate, get the location, move on. Simple. Or not! Here’s what happened:
- Start discussions with Mog, fairly confrontational straight out of the gate, thinly veiled threats, posturing etc
- Mog is open about what she wants (safety, by becoming part of the PCs street gang)
- Party react aggressively and dive straight into an ultimatum
- Mog demands a counter offer, as none is forthcoming
- Counter offer does not take into account what Mog wants
- Becomes clear that Mog is also negotiating with their arch enemies (shock, disbelief, anger)
- Tempers flare, more ultimatums and threats are thrown around
- Negotiations break down and Mog cuts a deal with the enemy
- PC’s walk away empty handed.
Interestingly it seems like the PC’s treated the negotiation as a competition that ended in frustration and failure. So what could they have done differently? What can we, as learning leaders, gain from this experience.
BATNA
Firstly, what is BATNA? BATNA is an acronym that stands for Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. This is what the best outcome would be if no agreement between the two parties can be reached. When entering a negotiation it is important to state what this is amongst your team. Understanding your BATNA gives you the ramifications of not reaching a deal.
Negotiating with a car salesman for example, the BATNA might be having to take public transport over the next week.
In the above D&D example the group didn’t even consider a BATNA to begin with. However, the consequences of not reaching an agreement was they wouldn’t get the location of the key they needed. Pretty straight forward. But not considered.
This meant that there was no strategy or no direction going in.
Understand What the Other Side Wants
The first part of any negotiation should be finding out what the other side of the negotiation wants. Often this may not be obvious at the very beginning. At this point all assumptions should be checked. As they may not be accurate. Once this understanding has been found it’s much easier to start crafting a mutually beneficial solution.
In the D&D negotiation example above, the Party did ask what Mog wanted. They got a response. She wanted to join their organization and feel safe in the area of her home. Unfortunately, this need from Mog was overshadowed by the competitive nature brought out by the act of negotiating. Which neatly leads to my next point.
It’s Not a Competition
A negotiation is not a point scoring contest. It is not about having a winner or a loser. It’s about getting what you need and not agreeing to an outcome worse than your identified BATNA.
The problem can be that the act of negotiating brings out competitiveness in people. I remember an international Chief Sales Officer arguing for hours that in every negotiation there had to be a winner and a loser. He obviously didn’t think very highly of his customers, which is probably why he got fired a few months later. Ego takes over and the actual value of the outcome gets lost.
Back to the game. The Party didn’t define a BATNA, ignored what Mog wanted and went straight into competitive behavior. This included bullying, threats and ultimatums. Who wants to make a deal with people like that? Of course, Mog considered her BATNA and joined the opposition where she would be safe.
The result. A massive fail for our heroes.
Don’t let your ego lead to a failed negotiation. Stay calm and focused. Don’t lose your cool.
Final Thoughts on the Failed Negotiation
Despite the fact that this gaming session wasn’t being run as a Learning-RPG there are definitely some real world learnings to be taken from it.
If I was to run this type of scenario with leadership development in mind I would be tempted to have Mog played by a different person, not by me the DM. I’d give Mog a simple BATNA and guidance on motivations. I could then facilitate rather than be the focus of the players attention.
I would also give a clearer briefing to the players, defining set goals for their team. Lastly, a debrief after the scenario would put everyone’s actions into perspective.
Running the team through multiple negotiation scenarios with increasing levels of hostility and emotion from the opposition would provide an excellent experiential learning experience.
Lots of food for thought. I feel that this example really highlights the potential of using rpgs for experiential leadership learning.